by kean kellySomething a little more personal today.
I feel bad, ashamed, and sad that I just plain old chose to miss "it" yesterday.
The Story
There is this sweet older lady named Josie. Josie is my grandmas neighbour in her condo building. Josie has a kind, gentle and plain old friendly personality. Over the last years our family has gotten to know her and she has loved on our kids.
Yesterday I was supposed to go visit Josie on my way home. It was a long day, I was tired, I just wanted a shower and supper. I even had this conversation in the car with God as I'm driving home from work. It went like this, "Lord, I just want a hot shower and some rest. You know the busy day I had, I'll go visit her tomorrow." I didn't "hear" anything else, assumed we were good, and grabbed a hot shower at the Y and went home to a nice relaxed evening.
Josie died at 2 am this morning....
When I heard the news I knew I had blown it.
Thankfully I had the opportunity months ago to share Christ with Josie and answer some of her questions. As far as I know she loved and accepted Christ as her savior.
Sadly, I heard God yesterday and did nothing. Even better, in all my wisdom I let Him know when it would suit me better. (Seriously how idiotic can I be planning His calendar for Him) Have you ever seen that Mastercard commercial where the coach comes into the hockey locker room between periods and the text says "knowing what and when to say it" and the screen shows him saying nothing and the screen then fades to "priceless"? That was my feeling today. Face down,ashamed, feeling somewhat like Isaiah did, a small, small man, hearing the stillness of His rebuke. Thankfully, I know His grace is sufficient, and His passion for me is never ending no matter how undeserved it is.
So today I have two questions for you.
1. Has He asked you to do something that you haven't?
2. If He has rebuked you don't miss it and confess accordingly. Don't miss His passion and desire for you by not hearing and acting on His rebuke. Proverbs 1:23 reminds us by saying, "if you had responded to my rebuke I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you."
I missed it yesterday. I accept His rebuke today. I've confessed today. I'm forgiven today. . I continue to place my trust in Him and long for His heart and His thoughts and the courage to act. I trust you do as well.